I can relate to you in a lot of ways when it comes to this topic. When I was only twelve years old, I started experimenting with drinking and smoking. It sounds very health class, but those things led me to pot, then harder drugs, and a lot of confusion in-between. I don't think I can say I ever had sex then, because it wasn't my choice to have it. It just kind of happened, and being in a commited relationship now, I wish I could get back what those people took from me- what I made possible for them to take.
I got clean when I met my now-boyfriend of three years. He was coming out of a dark time too, and he helped me to see the truth behind what I was doing. But there were a lot of times I fell back on my old ways when life got too hard.
Summer 2007 was a bad time for me. I drank on several occasions and it led to sexual situations that would have never come up if I could just put down the shot glass. It was always premeditated, and it excited me to know that I was going to get drunk and maybe smoke a little for free. I did this all in secret, from my friends and my boyfriend. And yes, it all came back to bite me in the ass. I lost my friends for over a year and my boyfriend's trust- which still has yet to come back fully.

What my message to you is, is that when you do something that you know is wrong you mark yourself for bad things to come. When they're addictive, it makes it even worse. The thrill of doing what you're not supposed to is always going to outweigh your devotion to God, no matter how devout you are. You need to remove yourself from this situation by telling your friends that you want to stay away from that whole scene. Let everyone know that you don't want to drink or smoke and they won't let you slip up.

The bottom line is that you KNOW what you're doing is wrong. Nothing justifies it as being okay for you and your standards. You need to get away from it now, or someday you could be me.

I'm no Christian, but I'd think that God wouldn't approve of us pushing our limit or abusing things.

I started drinking just to get drunk. I had problems in my life, and it was a way for me to just laugh about things. To just feel like I had no problems and nothing could mess with me. A few years later I'd find out that drinking like that wouldn't keep me from getting hurt. Infact, it's the exact thing that hurt me the most in life. Plus, it just led to me cutting since after a while the drinks didn't help me anymore.

I smoked because I liked it. It was addicting. I didn't see how it would harm me if it made me smile a lot and if God put it on the planet as a plant it should be okay. Of course I still knew it was wrong for me to abuse it. I could have fun any other way. I could get with my friends, put some music on, and dance. But driving around and smoking and stealing things from stores and getting money for them just sounded better after a while. You don't really think you're going to become this bad person, but you get addicted to it...or at least I did.

I did these things because I was missing something in my life. I don't know the exact reason for everyone else, but when drinking didn't work it led to weight issues and cutting, and when those didn't work it led to smoking drugs. Now, I have a daughter that made me grow up and try to turn from my old ways.

Thanks for the comment.

I admire you for your thoughtful posts. While mine deal mostly with my preoccupations and frustrations at a given time, yours extend beyond a personal realm to convey a universal message. The unfaltering sense of hope in your posts is truly inspirational.

While I have not personally engaged in smoking or drinking, I have often pondered the reasons behind why people do. Thoughts like this have certainly been enlightening. Certainly, your curiosity is not a crime. In fact, a good balance may just lead to some epiphany with regards to the popular go-to comforts of today. Make sure to stay safe. If you ever discover the happy medium between satisfying your curiosity and staying safe, let me know.

Thanks again for the thought-provoking post.

I stumbled across your site and I was interested. I don't know why you should care what I have to say but here goes nothing....

I'm a Christian. I've always been taught that drinking, smoking, all that is wrong. My parents experimented with it all when they were kids but they left those days behind. I hang out with kids that don't smoke. Don't drink. Don't do drugs. I have never been offered a cigarette in my life. I guess you could say I'm very sheltered. I don't know if I could stand strong if I was to be put in your situation. I don't want to find out.

The clique says, "Christians are often the only Bible the world will ever read". When your next door neighbor sees you getting buzzed, you'll become his excuse to drink. "If the Christians can drink, so can I." Or can he even tell that you're a Christian? How much different do you look from your non-Christian friends? Can they tell that you report to a Holy God?

Now don't get me wrong. I am not perfect. Drinking, smoking etc. is not the only way a person can sin. I'm not a saint, by any means. But these vises are addicting and often public (which can be a stumbling block for those that look up to you).

Do you feel Christ-like when you are drinking? Do you honestly think God would sit on the bar-stool next to you getting drunk? Yes, he assossiated and ate with the publicans and sinners but drunk?

Smoking. It's addicting. It's nasty. Stinky. Unhealthy. There's a story of an older couple that had been married for years. He smoked all his life. She'd never smoked. He was "healthy". She was dying of lung cancer. It's not only unhealthy for you. But those around you.

After having said all that... You have to have your own convictions. Pray and study His Words.

I know I shouldn't but pizza is just sooo tempting. mmm cheese.